Benji says that I cannot fight this. Its too hard for me. I now totally wish I was gay. As in guy gay, but too bad. I have a woman's body. Unfortunately, this gay is in a woman. God has given me a wrong body, and I wish, I could be put into a more masculine one instead.

I feel so ugly as a girl, there's menses, the lack of freedom, oogles from old men and skirts to tolerate. It can't be helped if I have a large cleavage right. Can't be helped that I've female hormones right. Sadly, it can't be helped that I've fallen for an AJ. I thought he wasn't so extreme. But still, gayboys are gayboys. =)

If I was lesbian, at least I wouldn't fall for AJs.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? TOO BAD IM BISEXUAL.
and more to the straight side too.

I HATE BEING A GIRL. hate hate hate hate.
I wanna tear off my boobs and roll them all up and attach it down there.
Cut my hair short. And work out.
I don't wanna be feminine anymore.
Don't wanna put on make up, wear heels and skirts.
Its all so very hard for me.
Was a tomboy. Does that count? NO.
I still have fucking boobs.

WHAT TO DO NOW.

Benji: How liddat, tell me how liddat!?

A Trail Of Thought Left On Saturday, April 14, 2007